Isaac Laquedem

Portland in 1921: Professor Einstein yields to the Bolsheviks

Not all news stories wear well.  On December 13, 1921 the Oregonian printed this intriguing item:

ROTARIANS DITCH EINSTEIN. -- Because the Einstein theory of relativity has been knocked higher than a kite, according to the story published in The Oregonian yesterday morning, the Rotary club has seen fit to strike the subject from its programme this noon.  Dr. J.W. Daniels of the Hill Military academy was to address the club on the famous theory of relativity, but since the balloon has been punctured, M. Alexander Schwartz has been asked to talk to the Rotarians on "What Bolshevism Means to Civilization."  The remainder of the programme is unchanged.

The Oregonian had not, the day before, reported that Einstein's theory of relativity had been disproven.  It had printed a whimsical piece by William Bird that declaimed that "the full and frightful consequences of the Einstein theory are just beginning to be appreciated," awakening the casual reader to the news that Einstein "was patiently at work undermining the very bases of the solar system."  According to the author, the consequences of the theory of relativity (he did not distinguish between the special theory and the general theory) included the moon speeding up in its orbit, until in a few million years "we shall have two or three full moons every month and four or five tides instead of two every day."  Where, Mr. Bird asked, was Congress?  As he put it, "To look at the record one would think that our legislators were perfectly content to have the moon racing around in its orbit at a reckless pace, in defiance of all the laws of celestial traffic and astronomy."

Mr. Bird got the science backward -- the moon is not speeding up, but slowing down over time and receding from the earth, so the time between full moons will become longer, not shorter -- but he did conclude with a statement that remains true today, though not about Dr. Einstein's theories:

By and large, then, there is little to be hoped from our legislators, who, as usual, are too busy looking out for their own narrow political interests to concern themselves with the general welfare, and the only change of avoiding calamity lies in an aroused and awakened public opinion. 

I'm tempted to recast Mr. Bird's article and put it before Marjorie Taylor Greene and await her floor speech, except that Rep. Greene might not understand enough of the science or the nature of satire to rise to the bait.

Happy 96th birthday, Professor Lehrer

Tom Lehrer's combination of precocity (he entered Harvard at 15) and longevity (he turns 96 today) have combined to make him one of the very few living songwriters to have started his oeuvre during World War II.  (The product was this football fight song.)  Though he claimed in 1977 to have no unpublished works, in fact he had dozens.  One, "The Hospital Song," resurfaced as "I Got It From Agnes" in the 1980 musical revue "Tomfoolery."  He published the others on November 26, 2022 when he released all of his work into the public domain.  After the requisite legalese, he ended his statement with "In short, I no longer retain any rights to any of my songs.  So help yourselves, and don't send me any money."

Happy birthday, sir!

The hidden economics of working from home

As portrayed by Charles Peattie and Russell Taylor, the authors of the "Alex" cartoon, on February 20 of this year.