Isaac Laquedem

How disrespected is our southern suburb? Even the Oregon supreme court can't spell its name

Last week the Oregon supreme court affirmed a land use order that allows TriMet to build the light rail line from Vancouver through southeast Portland to an adjoining suburb.  The opinion itself is fascinating reading, at least to land use nerds.  It contains one typo that suggests that the suburb in question is the Rodney Dangerfield of the Metro area.

Here's how the court describes the project:

The South North MAX Light Rail Project involves the construction of a light rail line from Clackamas Town Center in Happy Valley, Oregon, to Vancouver, Washington, via the cities of Milwaukee and downtown Portland.

It's a typo that others sometimes make, and suggests that either the court has a hazy notion of the geography of the Portland area, or that TriMet's expansion plans are even grander than we can imagine.

Isaac updates the Portland math curriculum

The Laquedemitasse's math homework includes some simultaneous-equation story problems, along the lines of "Three years ago Fred was three times as old as Paul was, and two years from now Fred will be twice as old as Paul.  How old are Fred and Paul now?"

It's not a very realistic problem, for in the real world, we would just ask Fred and Paul to tell us their ages.  It occurred to me, however, with some inspiration from Professor Bogdanski, that our metropolitan area offers us raw material for these problems.  Consider this one. 

A transit district operates X miles of bus service and Y miles of light rail.  For every additional mile of light rail that it constructs and operates, it must cut Z miles of bus service to pay for the additional light rail.  How many more miles of light rail can it build and operate before it will have no bus service at all?

It doesn't take an Einstein to know how to make a proper bagel

I'd like to propose that our next attorney general take a few moments from investigating fraud and corruption, supervising charities, and advising state bureaux to submit an amendment to the Oregon Unlawful Trade Practices Act that would prohibit a grocer or restaurant from passing off as a bagel any bread item that has not been first boiled and then baked.  

The Laquedem Plan to Help the Susan G. Komen Foundation Live Up To Its Rules

The Susan G. Komen For The Cure Foundation (I think that's its current legal name) took a beating today in the court of public opinion after it told its local affiliates that it would prohibit its local affiliates from issuing grants to Planned Parenthood to conduct breast cancer screenings.  The stated reason is that the national organization has adopted a policy under which neither it nor its local affiliates may give money to any organization that is under federal, state, or local investigation.

I noted earlier today, not too explicitly, that in 2009-2010 the Komen Foundation gave substantial sums to other organizations that are under federal, state, or local investigation.  It occurred to me that the trustees of the Komen Foundation may need a helping hand to be sure that they don't inadvertently fund an organization that's being investigated by the authorities; they fund so many groups, and there are so many law enforcement authorities, that the trustees may be funding targets without realizing it. 

Won't you help them out and play the Laquedem Get What's Komen To You Game?  It's easy.  Here's what you do.  First, pull up the Komen Foundation's latest Form 990.  That's the tax return that the Komen Foundation, and other tax-exempt organizations, have to file every year.  In it they list their grants of $5,000 or more.  Here's a link to the return for the year ending March 31, 2011.  Go to pages 47 to 59, labeled "Schedule I."  These pages list the organizations to whom the Komen Foundation gave $5,000 or more.  Pick three of them, and Google them (or Bing them, if you're Microsoft-inclined) together with the words "federal investigation" or "state investigation." See if anyone's investigating the three organizations you picked.

Did you get lucky and find three that are all under investigation?  Congratulations!  You're a winner.  Even if you found only two, you've done well.

Now the next step:  Let the Komen Foundation know that it's promised to cut off funds to those groups until the authorities clear them of wrongdoing, and give them the names of the organizations that their new policy now prohibits them from supporting.  Here's the contact page.  

Sorry, Yale University; no funds this year from the Komen Foundation, not until the feds finish their investigation.  Even Komen's hometown university, the University of Texas, may be off the grant list; the IRS was investigating the salaries it paid to some of its top officials.

Play now!  It's fun!  It's easy!  And it's for a good cause.  Help the Komen Foundation keep its grantees honest.

Susan G. Komen Foundation takes on Planned Parenthood, and maybe a dozen state universities also

Susan G. Komen Foundation, the promoter of the heavily trademarked Race for the Cure, told its affiliates today that they aren't allowed to fund local Planned Parenthood operations that screen low-income women for breast cancer.  The parent organization didn't fund Planned Parenthood in 2009-2010, according to its Form 990, (large PDF here), which doesn't show Planned Parenthood on its list of recipients of $5,000 or more, but some of the local organizations do.

The Komen Foundation ignited a firestorm around the blogosphere and the rest of the American internet.

The Foundation's stated reason for ordering its affiliates not to fund Planned Parenthood's breast cancer screening program is that its new national policy is not to fund institutions that are under any form of federal investigation.  Apparently a federal agency is investigating whether Planned Parenthood uses federal funds for abortions, something prohibited by the Hyde Amendment several years back.  That was enough of a reason for the Komen Foundation to cease funding Planned Parenthood.

The Komen Foundation has the right to fund whomever it wishes, as long as it follows the tax laws and hews to its mission.  In using this rule as an excuse to cut off the funding to Planned Parenthood, the Foundation's trustees didn't think this one through.  Komen funds a lot of universities.  What are the odds that some bright soul (possibly even me) will discover that it's funding several universities whose athletic departments are being investigated, or even whose medical schools are being audited for use of federal grant money?  (For example, its most recent Form 990 discloses a large grant to the University of Pennsylvania.)  It's funded Columbia University.  It's funded Northwestern University.  It's funded University of California - Davis.  I'll predict that by the day after tomorrow, there will be a news report listing a dozen more institutions that the Komen Foundation has funded that are under some form of federal investigation.  Stay tuned!