Isaac Laquedem

Do you have to pay the leaf removal fee if you have no trees?

A friend of a Laquedem sibling queries whether he can avoid paying the roundly-scorned City of Portland leaf removal fee.  He missed the deadline for applying for an exemption, and asks if he has to pay the fee anyway.  His reason for not wanting to pay the fee is not that he will remove the leaves himself, nor that he objects to the City charging the fee on constitutional or statutory grounds.  He points out - reasonably, I think -- that his street has no street trees and his front yard has no trees, so he isn't contributing any leaves to the street.

If he does get stuck paying the leaf removal fee despite having no leaves to remove, I've wondered if I can bring him some of my leaves.  It seems a shame to pay the fee and not get the service.

Boxing Day (United States version)

I've always liked Boxing Day (December 26), because it exemplifies how the New World has adapted a tradition from the Old.  In England, householders mark Boxing Day by giving small boxed presents to the people who have served them through the year: originally to their household servants (back from the days when households had live-in servants) and then to the dustman, mail carrier, and so on.

We've adapted that tradition in the United States, with our own mercantile twist: on Boxing Day we do not give boxed presents to our servants (for most of us have none); rather, we box up our unliked Christmas presents and take them back to the mall to exchange for something that we do like.  Or, in verse:

On Yule, the English eat and drink their fill,
Next morn, they give to those who do their will.
They think our Stateside customs rather strange,
One day we give; the next we all exchange.

Macy's offends Venerable Mom for Christmas, but saves her 30%

The centerpiece of the Laquedem Christmas celebration is only nominally the dinner (two dinners today, actually).  Most years the stage is stolen by Venerable Mom Laquedem's recital of her recent correspondence.  Today VM was in rare form as she griped, in good humor, about being turned down for a credit card.

When VM approached the register at Macy's this month, the clerk told her that if she applied for a Macy's credit card, she could save 30% on that day's purchases.  VM revels in thrift and signed up at once.  Last week she received the bad news that Macy's had turned her down, giving the reasons as her high level of installment debt and her history of delinquent credit accounts.  This puzzled her, as her installment debts total $576 -- not per month, but her total balance, which she pays off every month -- and her most recent late payment was in the Eisenhower or possibly the Truman era.

"Could it be her credit score?" I wondered.  Venerable Mom showed me her score, which was well above 780.  So it's not that either.  Perhaps, Mrs. Laquedem suggested, Macy's simply doesn't like issuing cards to customers with perfect credit and no debts . . . if they're octogenarians.

Far from feeling discriminated against because of her age, however, Venerable Mom was oddly pleased.  It means that next year she can again shop at Macy's, apply for a card, and get a 30% discount, and repeat that money-saving effort year after year -- as long as Macy's continues to turn her down for credit.

Get a buck from Jack today for a good cause

Professor Bogdanski renews his annual celebration of the seasion with another Buck-A-Hit celebration: he and supporters will donate to charity $1 for each unique visitor to his blog, up to $5000 total.  Go see him here and score a dollar for charity.

It's back! The Republicans want to nominate anyone but the front-runner

One perplexing thing about the run-up to the Republican nomination for the presidency is that the stalwarts of the Grand Old Party have a disconcerting pattern of uniting to think of reasons not to nominate whoever their front-runner may be.  At the moment, it's the "Anyone but Romney" movement; in 1988 it was the "Anyone but Bush" movement; and in 1980 the country-club set had their "Anyone but Reagan" moment in the dappled shade of the magnolias.  I sometimes have the feeling that the Republicans would not be able to revivify George Washington to run him again (the 22nd Amendment notwithstanding) without simultaneously organizing an "Anyone but Washington" movement to spread the word about his expense accounts.