Isaac Laquedem

Sorry about that, guys

This morning the Supreme Court unanimously reversed the conviction of Arthur Andersen LLP, Enron's accounting firm, for directing its employees to destroy documents related to Enron.  It's too bad that Andersen isn't around to enjoy the Court's decision, for the fallout from the conviction put it out of business in 2002.

Terror's tougher than the Axis

Venerable Mom's birthday last week provided the occasion for her to be honored by her large family, including her sisters the Aunt of the Right and the Aunt of the Left (qq.v.). Into their midst she threw this question: "We've been fighting the War on Terror since September 11, 2001.  That's three years and 8 months, just as long as we were in World War II.  In that time we mobilized the country, produced a ship a day, and defeated an enemy immensely more powerful than the terrorists of today.  Why the difference?"  Then she stood back and watched the fireworks.

Behind Venerable Mom's question I saw an interesting point.  In World War II we had a fairly clear objective -- in the language of computer gamers, a clear "victory condition" in Europe and another in Asia, which we marked with a definite V-E day and a V-J day.  We had a clear victory condition in the Iraq invasion: end the government of Saddam Hussein and then make Iraq free of Weapons of Mass Destruction.  (The second part of the task proved easier than we thought, for an unanticipated reason.)  But the War on Terror doesn't come with a victory condition; we're not likely to celebrate a V-T day because there isn't any definite way to show that we won.   There's always another potential terrorist threat to fight off.  That is to say, the government is unlikely to tell us that it has defeated the terrorists and we can relax our vigilance and go back to life as it was before the Patriot Act.

I'm tempted to draw a parallel between this and the March of Dimes.  The March of Dimes was founded to raise money to find a cure for polio and to help polio victims.  Then Doctors Salk and Sabin did their stuff and found a vaccine.  Mission accomplished!  But the March of Dimes did not congratulate its collective self on having achieved its mission, and then disband; in fact, it changed its name and cause to become the Mothers' March on Birth Defects, perhaps (I think unkindly) because its guiding minds believed that the Salks and Sabins of the future aren't going to find a cure for birth defects that will put the charity out of business.

A Memorial Day thought: send flowers to Uncle Arthur

Most of us have an Uncle Arthur, an older relative who lives far away to whom you've not been as close as the genealogical relationship would suggest.  Your Uncle Arthur may actually be an Aunt Jane or a Cousin George, but the idea is the same.

My Uncle Arthur grew up among a large crowd of Laquedem cousins, but most of them (including my father) moved to other parts of the country and reared their families there, and I saw Uncle Arthur only twice when I was growing up, and thereafter only on the on the rare occasions that I passed near his village.

This March Uncle Arthur turned 75, an age rarely attained by a Laquedem, and it occurred to me to send him flowers and a note, which I had never done for any of his prior birthdays.  The next day his children -- my cousins -- sent me two thoughtful e-mails, saying that my small gift meant a lot to Uncle Arthur and thanking me for remembering his birthday and thinking of him.

Uncle Arthur died this month.  I'm glad I thought of him while I could send flowers to him instead of to his funeral.

Send something to your Uncle Arthur.  Now is good.

No, but I'm flattered by the suggestion

From this post on BlueOregon today:

Over at his blog, former BlueBlogger Isaac Laquedem is asking for suggestions for Mayor Potter, in a post entitled Help Mayor Potter assign the bureaux.

Head on over to Isaac Laquedem's place and find out his predictions and make some of your own.

It should be noted that Isaac Laquedem is a pseudonym. For all we know, Isaac is Mayor Potter.

Help Mayor Potter assign the bureaux

We're drawing close to the time when the Mayor should assign the City bureaux to the commissioners.  Herewith my predictions for some of the assignments:

The Mayor will keep the Portland Police Bureau for himself.   Traditionally mayors keep the Police Bureau, and Mayor Potter, as a former police chief, is the best-qualified of the council to ride herd on the bureau.

For the same reasons, Commissioner Leonard will get the Fire Bureau.

I can picture Parks and Environmental Services going to Commissioner Saltzman, Housing to Commissioner Sten, and Transportation and Development Services to Commissioner Adams.  Where Licenses will end up is anyone's guess.

But what if the Mayor wants to shake things up a bit?  He can accomplish more of what I think he wants to do by assigning bureaux more imaginatively.  Picture this:

Mayor Potter:  Police and Fire; Licenses
Commissioner Sten:  Transportation
Commissioner Saltzman:  Housing
Commissioner Leonard:  Development Services (especially BuPlan)
Commissioner Adams:  Environmental Services

Some of the offices could use some critical evaluation from their commissioners-in-charge.  The Mayor could make that happen.

Mr. Buffett, will you lend a hand to the City of Portland?

I have a certain amount of comfort -- a relatively high amount -- with the idea of Warren Buffett owning one of the local power companies.  (An enterprise he controls announced plans today to buy PacifiCorp from its Scottish owners for $5.1 billion in cash and the assumption of $4.3 billion in debt and preferred stock.)

I would not like to suggest a quid pro quo (and in any case Mr. Buffett's home currency is not the quid but the buck), but someone at the City of Portland should be brave enough to ask him whether he would consider buying some bonds to finance the public purchase of Portland General Electric, say, about $2 billion or so, on reasonable terms.  Mr. Buffett said last month, at the annual meeting of Berkshire Hathaway, that he had $45 billion in cash looking for a home, and if he's interested in electric utilities the City could strike a deal to borrow the funds to buy Portland General.  Given Mr. Buffett's legendary track record as an investor, the City should also offer to let him name half of the directors.  And next, hire him to run PERS.

Mr. Allen tots up his first class travel for the Wall Street Journal

Yesterday the Wall Street Journal published a story on one aspect of first class air travel, in which the author took advantage of the Journal's custom of using honorific titles to provide a surprise twist at the end of the story's second paragraph.  Here's how the story begins:

Like many road-warriors embarking on long-haul plane trips, William Allen swaps frequent-flier miles for first-class upgrades whenever possible.  In the past six years, he has flown in first-class to Asia (two times), Europe (four times) and South Africa (twice).

While reclining in the cushy seats, with his feet supported comfortably on footrests, the Raleigh, N.C. resident enjoys catching up on his reading, watching a video or two and trying his hand at writing.  "I like doing Mad-Libs," says Mr. Allen, a six-year-old who will complete kindergarten next week.

Dr. Seuss co-writes a legal brief in Texas

When a lawyer in Dallas, Texas filed a motion in mid-December 2004 and asked for a quick hearing, his opponent said that he had vacation plans for the Christmas holidays and asked to postpone the hearing until after the vacation.  The first lawyer asked the judge to hear the motion anyway, during the second lawyer's vacation. 

The second lawyer, Michael P. Lynn of Lynn, Tillotson & Pinker, didn't respond in the dry language of legal documents, but entirely in verse modeled on Dr. Seuss's book How The Grinch Stole Christmas, with lines such as:

The Grinch hated Christmas!  The whole Christmas season!
Now please don't ask why.  No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his arguments weren't going quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his clients' wallets were too light.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his briefs were two sizes too small.

The complete verse is here. 

[Thanks to the American Bar Association and Christine LeBel of Springfield, Massachusetts for sending out the story.]

Public financing will let the rich support both sides

It seems hardly sporting of the City Council to approve public financing of campaigns when Professor Bogdanski is out of town.  (Some history is here and the new code sections are here.)

The wrinkle of the plan that I find most interesting is on pages 23 and 24 of the new ordinance, in sections 2.1.150.D and E.  These provisions allow a qualifying candidate (one who accepts public financing and the campaign limits) to get additional money from the public fisc if opposed by a non-qualifying candidate who out-raises or outspends the qualifying candidate. 

For example, a qualifying candidate for mayor can get up to $250,000 from the City for the general election.  If the qualifying candidate faces a non-qualifying candidate who raises or spends more than $250,000 in the general election, then the qualifying candidate can get up to another $500,000 (200% of the base amount) for the general election to match the non-qualifying candidate.

Let's say that in 2008 the mayoral primary narrows the race to a good-government candidate and a candidate of vested interests.  Good Government raises a fistful of $5 and $100 contributions, qualifies for public financing, and receives $250,000 for the general election.  The Vested Interest disdains public financing and raises $750,000 at a quiet dinner at the Mausoleum Club.  As I read the ordinance, the City then pays Good Government $500,000 in additional campaign funds. 

Put another way, the Vested Interest gets stuck raising money for both sides: each dollar to the Vested Interest beyond a certain point produces a matching dollar to the Good Government candidate. 

What's the result?  As the big-dollar contributions come mainly from large employers and downtown real estate owners, I think it means that an incumbent who ticks off the business community enough to cause them to support a challenger gets to piggyback on the business candidate's financing: if the Vested Interest candidate raises $750,000 from the people who don't like City Hall, the City Hall candidate gets up to $500,000 in additional manna from the sky.  Tim Boyle's going to be paying for both sides.

UPDATE:  A lively debate is going on over this topic at Portland Communique.  One theme is whether the City and its residents will get value for the $1.2 million or so that the measure is estimated to cost.  Another is whether, by allocating this money to fund campaigns, the City Council will make it harder for the City to raise money: will taxpayers say that if the City can spend more than $1 million funding campaigns, it must not have any truly pressing financial needs?

A better way to pepper protesters

This morning's Whimperer brought the news that the City of Portland will pay $545,000 to the attorneys for twelve persons whom the Portland police pepper-sprayed at three protests in 2002 and 2003.  Two protests were against the Iraq war and the third was outside a Republican fundraiser at which President Bush was speaking.  The City had previously agreed to pay the plaintiffs $300,000 rather than go to trial, bringing the total costs of the pepper spraying to $845,000 plus the City's own staff and attorney time in defending the case.  The City's total costs easily exceeded $1 million, considering that (as the article also reports) the cost for the police overtime for the 2003 fundraiser alone was $194,000.

Tom McCall had the right idea in 1970, when the American Legion planned to hold its national convention in Portland.  Faced with reports that protesters were planning to descend on Portland, Governor McCall opened Milo McIver State Park, near Estacada, to camping and organized a rock concert at the park to coincide with the American Legion meeting.

Here's Isaac's thought for the day: if the President should announce plans to come to Portland again, the City could lay out half of its million dollars to hold a concert at (say) Delta Park, and offer a different pepper for the protesters.  The City could use the $500,000 it would save on any number of worthy causes, for example, enhancing the Portland Development Commission's communications with the public.