Comedian Irwin Corey billed himself as "The World's Foremost Authority." Authority on what? Anything you might wish him to talk about, if you were willing to overlook how he could spiral from coherent and professorial English into a whirlpool of substance and syntax so mangled that George W. Bush would have cringed. Professor Corey died yesterday at the advanced age of 102, and his death leaves vacant the post of being the world's foremost authority. Until a less suitable substitute is located, I'm happy to claim the title.